Grieving is a process: And we talk about it here
There are usually five stages of grief:
Denial: "This can't be happening to me."
Anger: "Why did this happen? Who did this to me?"
Negotiation: "How can I make it up to you?"
Depression: "I'm too sad to do anything."
Acceptance: "I am at peace with what happened."
We live in a culture that wants to put grief behind us quickly, to "get over it," as if it were an obstacle. The truth is that it is absolutely normal for a griever to feel unbalanced and unfocused for a long time. There is no right way to grieve, and there is no specific time when one "should" get over it. We need to remember that it is a process to teach us to be compassionate and tolerant of our feelings in order to overcome them!
6 Tips on How To Get Through the Grieving Process
1. Embrace your feelings
Feelings come and go whether we want them to or not. All we have to do is let them pass, like clouds in the sky. It is not a weakness or abnormality to feel all kinds of feelings. We can regulate and process our feelings by journaling, talking to a therapist or friend, joining a support group, reading, practicing mindfulness, or listening to podcasts to normalize ourselves and relate to others.
Listen to the body, too, because grief also expresses itself in physical pain. So-called somatoform pain can occur as a result of trauma.
According to the University Hospital Zurich, somatoform pain looks like this:
"In somatoform pain disorder, sufferers complain of persistent, severe pain in a part of the body for which there is no physical cause. The location and character of the pain can change, and the pain can lead to sleep disturbances and interfere with everyday life as a whole. In medical consultations, sufferers do not admit psychological causes as possible triggers."
2. Structure your day and your goals
This means always getting up, getting dressed, and showering at the same time, even if you don't leave the house. This is a way to practice self-care. Also, eat small, regular meals even if you are not hungry. Try to get out in the fresh air, schedule a walk, run errands, and make a list of activities or chores you can do.
3. Establish a regular sleep schedule
Make it a goal to go to sleep and wake up at the same time each day. Seven to nine hours of sleep is the name of the game! This will have a positive effect on your mood, hormone balance, and brain, as well as the quality of your sleep. Allow yourself time to rest when needed, but beware of sleeping too much to escape the grieving process.
4. Practice self-care
Grief can lead to loss of appetite, overeating, insomnia, lack of energy, and difficulty concentrating. Be sure to eat a balanced diet, get plenty of rest, exercise, and talk to your doctor about how to take care of yourself during this difficult time.
5. Express your feelings and cry
Look for ways to not only talk about your feelings of loss and the multitude of emotions involved but also to write about them or express them through art, poetry, or music. Allow tears to express your sense of loss. Tears help us heal.
6. Ask for support
There are people who have been in similar situations who can help you get through this difficult time. Please reach out to them. Friends, family, a support group, or therapy are good places to start. You are not alone.
Some people will get through grief quickly, and for others, it may never really end; it just gets easier with time. You will know when you are ready to move on when you can invest the energy in something new and feel peace, joy, and acceptance. This takes time. It is important to be good to yourself during this process.
