10 Simple Ways to be happy
Here are a few simple and doable tips to capture more of it.
Self-love. Talk to yourself like you would talk to a friend. It's often hard to feel happy when someone is constantly offending or dragging us down, and most of the time that someone is you. My cranky inner critic loves to tell me that everyone else is better than me and that all my work will eventually fail. She can be such a devil, and so I have to challenge that voice every day to make sure she is kind. A good tip for overcoming this self-incrimination is "The Work" method by Byron Katie. After each negative thought about yourself, such as "I'm not enough", "not pretty enough", "not successful enough", "not this enough, not that enough", please ask yourself the following questions:
1. is this true?
2. can I be 100% sure that it is true?
3. how do I act, think or feel with this thought?
4. who would I be without this thought?
After going through these questions, realize that all your self-critical thoughts are NOT true and that without them you would be floating around like a happy cloud enjoying life.
Don't believe everything that pops into your head. This follows on from the last tip about being kind to yourself, but I want to reiterate this point because it is so important. Our brains lie virtually all the time. Humans have an 80% negative bias, so it seems normal to assume the worst before seeing anything positive. Many people tend to let negative thoughts get the best of them. Your brain likes to lie to protect you, but kindness and compassionate thoughts are a much better shield in the long run. Sit down and write a daily list of things you like about yourself. List your strengths and the qualities you admire about yourself, and remember to refer back to this list when the evil voice tries to tell you otherwise again.
Move your body. Movement is important to increase one's energy and improve one's thoughts and quality of feeling. I personally believe that it is virtually impossible to "think your way out of a problem"; however, I believe that it is actually possible to "move your way out of a problem." Negative and fear-driven thoughts rob you of joy very quickly. It is all the easier to get lost in a spiral of critical thoughts. The next time your mind starts to overload with negative thought input, don't listen to your doubts, move your body. I like to put on music and have a five-minute dance party, or if I can't dance, I relax my shoulders, sit up straight, put my head back and smile like a Cheshire cat. When the body relaxes, the mind relaxes. So changing our posture so that it signals happiness to our mind is a really easy way to generate new energy and, in turn, new thoughts. As Einstein wrote, "We cannot solve our problems with the same mindset that created them."
Start a content diet! What kind of content do you consume every day? There's nutritious content that makes us feel good, and there's unhealthy junk food content that overwhelms and addicts us. Where do you look as soon as you wake up? What are you reading? What are you listening to? I've deleted a lot of accounts that make me feel uncomfortable and followed the ones that make me feel bursting with energy. Find podcasts, articles, and accounts that enrich your life. You only live once.
A daily walk. Simple, but effective! I recently swapped my sitting meditation for a short walking or running meditation, and I'm thrilled with this positive change in my mind. Spending time outdoors in daylight is important for vitamin D levels, which is a huge boost to mood and the immune system. In home office times of today, it's so easy to stay indoors, chained to our emails and calls. Don't get caught up in the laptop. Get outside in daylight to get your daily dose of happiness.
Call a friend. Loneliness is more problematic today than ever before, as COVID separates people from their loved ones. However, social distancing doesn't have to mean emotional distance. To be happy, you have to be connected! Make sure you check in with your friends regularly. Recently, I received a call from a friend who, even in a "normal world," I would only see every six months or so. She called me out of the blue to say hello, and it was actually so nice to chat with her. I ended the phone call with a deep sense of gratitude that she had reached out. I admired her proactive actions and now want to do the same for someone else.
Your skin care ritual. It's more important than you think. Your moisturizing routine can play a big role in feeling happier and can be a gateway to creating more oxytocin, an important happiness hormone. Touching ourselves, such as by massaging a mask into our skin, stimulates the production of oxytocin. Skin care rituals are simple steps to greater well-being because they are quiet moments just for us. I've recently become obsessed with Erno Laszlo's Hydra-Therapy Memory Sleep Mask, as it has become an important step in winding down before bed.
Get plenty of sleep. The basis for feeling more joy, well-being and love is to have enough life energy to think "happy" in the first place. Why not try going to bed an hour earlier for a week and see if that changes how we feel about life? I've recently started going to bed about 45 minutes earlier than usual, and I'm really enjoying the benefits. Mornings are lighter, I feel much less stressed, and I have more energy to get things done the next day. A small but powerful tip to help you sleep better is to write in a gratitude journal before you go to sleep. Research has shown that people who go to bed with positive thoughts fall asleep faster, sleep longer, and also benefit from better quality sleep. Put a notepad and pen next to your bed or use an app like Day One. For those who want to make gratitude journaling a habit.
Reduce screen time. Busy, overworked brains aren't particularly happy or joyful and don't have enough capacity to receive miracles. Let your brain rest and put technology aside for a while. Get out a card or board game or immerse yourself in a good book. When I started writing my book last year, I felt happier than I had in a long time. I came to the realization that I put it off for so long because I spent too much time on my phone or tablet. Always make sure to schedule a few hours of technology-free time each day. The positive effect will quickly become apparent.
Nothing is forever. Always remember that "being happy" is not a permanent state. If you're reading this article and you don't currently feel that happy, that's fine. If you feel good, that's great, but please don't be afraid that this state will fade or disappear. As time passes, so do our feelings, and happiness will come and go in our lives. It is important to always remember that it will always return. The person who affirms this for himself can welcome life. He knows in good times that worse ones are ahead and in worse ones that the good ones will follow again.
