5 Approaches that redefine Loneliness

Loneliness is real, painful, and on the rise.

Loneliness means being disconnected from other people. More and more individuals are uncertain about how to establish these social connections and, once made, how to maintain them. At its core, it's an estrangement from one's true self.

Here are five essential things about loneliness you should know:

1. Anyone can be lonely. We need to change our understanding of who is affected by loneliness, as it could be anyone. In fact, statistically speaking, every second person in many parts of Europe— whether single, married, with or without children, old or young. The prevalence of this phenomenon cannot be overstated.

2. Loneliness and solitude may appear similar, but they are not. While solitude seems comparable, it doesn't have the same negative effects as loneliness. Seeking moments of quiet reflection positively influences factors such as happiness and blood pressure. In contrast, loneliness is a feeling of isolation that often persists even when other people are present.

3. Loneliness is more than just a bad feeling. Chronic loneliness can significantly affect mental and physical health. According to research by Holt-Lunstad at Brigham Young University, the lack of social connection has the same health implications as smoking up to 15 cigarettes or consuming more than six alcoholic drinks a day. It also exacerbates existing mental health conditions.

Conversely, "Blue Zones" are places around the world where inhabitants live notably longer and have a much higher-than-average sense of well-being. Lifelong friendships and a sense of community contribute to these positive outcomes.

Find your people.

4. Less screen time, more face-to-face contact. In Germany, screen time is on the rise, averaging 10 hours a day according to an ARD/ZDF online study. Online interactions are no substitute for the genuine connection we crave. While it's wonderful to stay in touch with old friends on social media or video chat with family, we must prioritize maintaining our in-person interactions. A real-life encounter can provide lasting fulfillment in a way a smartphone simply cannot.

5. Find your "third place." Your third place is somewhere you can connect with others, share your thoughts and dreams, and have fun. Your first place is home, your second is work, and with many now working from home, some don’t even have a second place, let alone a third. Genuine connections thrive in your third place. Often, it's a public setting where people gather informally and regularly. Examples include cafés and pubs, sports clubs, gyms, as well as religious communities.

The solution to loneliness might seem simple. After all, we just need to spend more time with other people, right?

However, the solution will require a conscious, consistent effort from all of us to check in with the people we love, seek out new connections, and balance the amount of time we spend online with the time we spend with others.